Nicole vs. Life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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