Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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