forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
