Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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