There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Let's get the cat blown out
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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