Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
