I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
