Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
