He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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