Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I touched a dick in church today
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize