don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize