If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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