these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
