I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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