So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I will pee on everything he values.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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