she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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