i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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