and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
