who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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