come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
