so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
