thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
