I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
