here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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