I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I forget how to act sober
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
