There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize