remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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