im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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