Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize