I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
