i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
