I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
