I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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