So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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