Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
