I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
