I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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