We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
