Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
