You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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