is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
