the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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