problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
