I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
