You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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