My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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