I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
