Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize