she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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