I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
