I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize