butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Send help, water and tortillas.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
