well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
