Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
