So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
