One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
