My hand turned me down
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
