What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
