were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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