Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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