So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
