i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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