Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
